welcome back
day two yesterday we studied what really
makes us
successful or not we said that the
answer is power that this whole program
is about personal power
being able to get yourself to take
action and follow through
did you do your exercise did you follow
through on your success journal
yesterday
if you didn’t please turn off this tape
do not listen to this tape until you’ve
done exercise from day number one
if you did day number one you’ve gotten
yourself to take some kind of action you
made a decision and you used your power
maybe in a simple way maybe in a basic
way but
what happens is as we talked about in
the last tape every single day by doing
just a little bit
we begin to improve we develop more
strength again like lifting weights
the first day we start lighter and the
next day a little bit heavier and we’re
going to move to stronger and stronger
amounts till we’re able to move our life
in the direction we want as quickly as
we can think it
that’s our goal to be able to use our
personal power on a daily basis
now in order to do that we’ve got to see
what normally stops people from using
their personal power
and that’s the purpose of this tape i
want to share with you what i believe is
the controlling force
in all human behavior what drives us in
other words
everyone could take action literally if
it’s that simple if all it takes to
succeed is the ability to know what you
want
take action know if it’s working and
keep changing until you get what you
want
how come everybody doesn’t do it and as
we’ve already alluded to in this first
tape
the reason is fear and the fear is
usually fear of failure or success or
rejection
but the real word i would use for this
thing we’re afraid of is pain
i believe that every single person on
this earth is driven by
two forces number one their need to
avoid
pain and number two their desire to gain
pleasure
those two twin forces are the drive
behind all human behavior
so let me ask you a question my guess
would be this isn’t the first set of
self-improvement tapes that you’ve
invested in your lifetime
did you really use the last set you
invested in
my hallucination is the answer is no you
didn’t use them at least
at the level you could have and the
reason i quote unquote hallucinate that
is i found out the statistics show
that less than 10 of the people who
purchase tape programs
ever listen to them in their entirety
that just blows my
mind somebody’s invested money time they
wanted a result but they didn’t follow
through
or worse they invested in a program and
they listened to it and then they didn’t
use what they listened to
but there’s anything that i’m going to
try and push you to do as your friend
and as your
success coach if you let me be that for
you in this program
it’s to get you to act on everything we
talk about to keep the ideas simple and
focused but get you to use them
so you don’t have to have a complicated
idea to make a difference in your life
what you need
are ideas that you apply and that’s what
we’re really going to go for a thousand
percent in this program
but the question is how could somebody
go to school how could somebody go to a
seminar how could somebody read an
excellent book
and still not produce the result not
apply all the stuff that they’ve read
and you know what i’ve been guilty of it
too so i’m not pointing fingers
i have i remember i read a book and it
was a great book and it was all about
how to manage my finances and i remember
reading this thing and saying this is
great stuff
i’ve got to do this and i was inspired
but you know what
about a month later i noticed i hadn’t
done anything on it you know i just got
caught up you know doing things and gosh
the phone was ringing and i had to do
this stuff at the house and
i mean you know i had to handle this
daily i had to take out the trash and
besides that you know my mom called and
talked to her in a long time you know
and
you know my son needed this and you know
you get caught up you can’t get caught
up
what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to
use your power and get yourself to
follow through
so why didn’t i follow through i
obviously wanted the results that i knew
this book could give me
why haven’t you followed through on some
of the things you know you really want
why not why haven’t you used your
personal power and taken action what has
prevented you from taking action
and i would suggest to you it’s what
this tape is about the two controlling
forces
have directed your life and kept you at
times from taking action
those forces again are the twin forces
of pain and pleasure
remember everything we do in life
we do out of our need to avoid pain or
desire to gain pleasure i’ll give you an
example
i don’t know if you’re a lady listening
or a gentleman but when i speak to
audiences i’ll invariably ask the ladies
in the audience please raise your hand
if you put on makeup today
do you know that ninety 90 of the
audience will raise their hand many
times 99
now think about that why do they put on
makeup each day or why do you if you’re
a lady
why is it because you wake up in the
morning and say look in the mirror and
say god i love this process
i doubt it very seriously why you put it
on us for one of two reasons you put on
the makeup because in your mind you say
you know putting on makeup makes me feel
more attractive
so what is that doing why are you taking
action to gain
pleasure or you might say well gosh when
i put on makeup
people think i’m more attracted they
feel more attracted to me which again
makes you
feel good it makes you feel a
pleasurable type of feeling that’s why
you do it
now some people wake up in the morning
and that’s not why they put on makeup
some women wake up in the morning and
they say how come men don’t have to do
this
but they still do it why because their
brain says well if i don’t put it on
somebody’s gonna say what happened to
your face
and some people of course do it for a
combination of the two the point is
the only reason they put it on is to
avoid pain and to gain pleasure some
combination of those things
hey have you ever procrastinated he said
what a dumb
question of course what is
procrastination
it’s the opposite of using your personal
power it’s being immobilized
it’s needing to do something and not
following through
i call it the silent killer because it
grows on you
it just kind of creeps along until
pretty soon it’s taking control of your
life
pretty soon you find yourself
immobilized in a bunch of areas and you
don’t even realize it
you don’t even notice all the freedom
you’ve given up just because of
procrastination
so what is it though why do we
procrastinate why do we not use our
power which is what we talked about in
the first tape let’s figure out what
stops us
the reason is when we procrastinate it’s
because we
think that taking action whatever action
we’re putting off
that taking that action would be more
painful than doing nothing or not taking
action
that’s the bottom line in other words by
not taking action we experience
less pain than taking action now you
might say tony but if i take action i
could get the pleasure that would come
from succeeding or having the job done
that may be true but what’s more real to
you when you procrastinate
is the pain you’ll have to go through to
get the job done isn’t that true think
about it
don’t take my word for these things
you’ve got to take whatever i say and
say hey
that makes sense to me or it doesn’t
don’t just buy anything i share with you
think about it make sure it makes sense
to you once it does then we’ve got to
start making sure you use it now let’s
look at the other side
have you ever procrastinated for so long
that at one point it reversed on you
where all of a sudden your brain said
god i gotta do this because not doing it
is more painful than just getting the
job done
haven’t you been caught in that place
did you ever we have one of those people
that did your turn paper like a week
before or maybe worse the night before
the whole time doing the term paper was
painful but the night before you thought
if i don’t have it done it’s going to be
even more painful because i have to walk
in there without it so all night long
you experience pain and getting the job
done common experience for too many
people
why because they haven’t learned how to
control
the motivating forces of pain and
pleasure
they are the controlling force of your
life
now where else do they affect you well
let’s take a look do you overeat
some people say well i’m going to go on
a diet yep i’m just going to go out
there and i’m going to starve myself and
then i’m going to be real skinny
how often does that work i’d say slim
and none in fact studies show that 95
of the people go on a diet within two
years have not only gained the weight
back
but have also usually gained an
additional two pounds beyond the weight
they were on when they went on the diet
in the first place
see trying to create more pain in your
life rarely works because i gotta tell
you something
the need to avoid pain is biological
it’s built into your nervous system
why because it’s a survival mechanism
and your brain is gonna fight like crazy
anytime
it sees that you’re asking to do
something that’s going to lead to pain
so what do we need to do to change our
eating patterns what do we need to do so
we get permanent weight loss and we have
a physical health we want
well the first thing i would do if i
were you is i’d find some of the foods
that you’re obviously addicted to in
other words foods that you eat on a
regular basis
and you eat them in excess why eat them
in excess
you go well because when i was growing
up these and these things happen to me
no that’s not true there’s only one
reason you eat more food than you should
because it’s pleasurable because you
like to eat that
chocolate because you think could die of
a chocolate you just go into a state
where you got to have it
see you associate deep deep pleasure and
that’s why you go for it now you say
yeah but being fat is really painful
that’s true
but the reason you ate the chocolate
cause in that moment what was more real
to you
the pain of being fat or the pleasure of
the chocolate
i would assume that it was the pleasure
of the chocolate if you’re overeating
so what we’ve got to do to make a change
in our life is not go out and discipline
ourselves
but to change what we link pleasure and
what we link pain
to so what if you saw somebody that you
really attracted to
and you wanted to be with them you want
to develop a relationship but you didn’t
follow through
how come real simple isn’t it because
you associated
more pain to walking up and asking him
for a date than not doing it
you thought well gosh but if i could do
it i can have the pleasure but which one
was a more powerful motivating force
the pleasure of being in relationship or
the potential pain of being rejected
if you didn’t follow through we know the
answer don’t we the pain
and i’m here to tell you something that
for years i would have probably argued
with you if you would have said this to
me because i feel like i’m a real
proactive person
but if there’s anything that my research
and human behavior has shown me
time again and again and again in most
cases
pain the need to avoid pain is a greater
motivator for people
than the desire for pleasure i hate to
say that because i love to do things for
proactive reasons
but i also have found that people do
almost anything to avoid pain
now i got a question for you what
happens when two pains come up side by
side
what happens when if you do something
it’s going to be painful but if you
don’t do it it’s going to be painful
which action will you take for example
you might say
well gosh if i don’t go up to this lady
and meet her then i’ll never meet her
again i’ll never have a relationship and
i’ll miss out and you have the pain of
that
but on the other side your brain’s
saying but if you do go up and she
rejects you my gosh then you’re really
going to have pain
so what determines your behavior is
which pain is more intense does that
make sense
i’m sorry to sound so simplistic but
let’s talk about what really drives
human behavior and i think there are
certain basic
fundamentals that drive our behavior
when we understand them
we can start to utilize them to change
our life and if we don’t understand them
then what we do is we keep running up
against the brick wall have you
experienced that we’re trying to make a
change trying to make a change trying to
make a change but it never happens
why because your internal associations
about pain and pleasure haven’t changed
in other words
you keep thinking if i do this it’s
going to be in a ton of pain and so you
stop short i mean a classic example is
in relationships
you know a lot of people in life get
this bug they say i want to be in a
relationship
why because they think being in a
relationship would mean
lots of what pleasure love happiness
security being close
all those special feelings spirituality
right that
feeling of oneness then they get in a
relationship and they say
i don’t want to be in a relationship
right all of a sudden they begin to
think relationship means pain
or worse they think a relationship is
the most incredible thing in the world
they love this person
they give a thousand percent of
themselves they think about them
constantly
and then as time goes by something
happens and this person let’s say leaves
them
or breaks up with them or smashes their
heart into a billion pieces has this
ever happened in your lifetime
if it hasn’t it probably will that
sounds
real supportive doesn’t it but listen in
our lifetimes if you’re going to have
relationships and you’re not already in
one you’re committed to for life there’s
a chance of future disappointment let’s
just say that’s possible
i’m not one of those people that says
just be a positive thinker all the time
some people tell you in life to succeed
what you’re supposed to do is look at
the weeds in your garden and say
there’s no weeds there’s no weeds
there’s no weeds hey they’ll take your
garden
my view say there’s going to be weeds so
pull the suckers out and move on
don’t get all hung up and go they’re
weeds in my garden how come god did this
to me
just move on just realize that’s part of
life and part of life is there may be
times in your lifetime would you be
willing to buy this theory
where people may disappoint you that is
you may have different expectations of
how they should behave than they have
if that’s true you’re gonna have to
learn to deal with it the challenge is
this
most people have not learned how to deal
with it most of us don’t consciously
look at what we link pain and what we
link pleasure to and so our lives
are in reaction instead of in control so
for example let’s say you had a great
relationship somebody you really loved
gave 100
as we started to talk about and then all
of a sudden one day something bad
happens
they cheated on you they left you they
lost interest they were less motivated
or attracted than you were
what happens for some people is they
have this thing called pain at this
moment
and what they link up in their mind is
relationships equal pain
now there’s a problem because also in
their mind they have this other
association in their nervous system
and then association is relationships
equal pleasure
so what happens in the future well for a
long time this person will probably
avoid relationships you know they won’t
get too attracted
they won’t express themselves real fully
or they’ll be a little bit more closed
down does this sound like somebody you
know
maybe somebody you know personally and
then what happens is eventually you know
maybe some of the pain wears off
and they see somebody and they get
attracted or they develop a neat
relationship and it starts to grow
but there’s a point in the relationship
when it’s going really really well
when all of a sudden that person begins
to sabotage the relationship
now have you ever done that usually it’s
because
inside your mind something has happened
and your brain’s going oh my gosh i’m
getting all this pleasure ah but i know
what’s happening next
relationships will equal pain eventually
so i better get out quick before the
pain gets here
now i want you to realize that this idea
of pain and pleasure doesn’t just shape
your emotional life or whether for
example you smoke cigarettes or overeat
or whatever the case
may be but it affects every aspect of
your life every aspect big things and
little things
you know sometimes business people say
to me boy this pain pleasure thing
this really affects my business doesn’t
i said affect your business it’s
everything
i mean it all comes down to people don’t
even buy the best product anymore they
buy the product
they associate the most pleasure to in
the least pain
you know all marketing is when you watch
the commercials them trying to get you
to link pleasure to their product and
paying to the competition
management is understanding pain and
pleasure what drives somebody
because if you want to motivate a human
being you’ve got to find out what
already motivates them if you want to
influence them
you’ve got to find out what already
influences them what do they already
link pain or pleasure to
i mean i give an example i worked with a
gentleman he was one of the first people
that i took on as a private client
now i have a group of people that pay me
between one and four million dollars a
year to personally coach them
they don’t say that to impress you but i
want to press upon you these people will
not pay that kind of money unless they
get real results
and this man was the first client i took
on was a man who made a half a billion
dollars
in one day one of the top financial
traders in the world
it was pretty amazing but then he went
through this challenge
and the challenge was he couldn’t get
himself to make any money
for almost nine straight months he was
losing money and so he tried everything
to turn things around and pretty soon as
you might guess
he linked major pain to trading because
every time he traded he’d lose
his old identity was he was the best in
the world so he hired me to come in
because he was at the point where he
literally couldn’t get himself to go
into the office
because going to the office equaled pain
i mean can you imagine someone that good
being that shut down in what i would
call learned helplessness
and the man was really a genius but his
conditioning was taking over
so i came in and helped him to change
this pain pleasure i also helped him to
evaluate
and study him to find out what was he
doing at his very best
when he was the best in the world what
was he doing with his body which we’re
going to teach you about something
called
state and physiology in this program the
very things i did with him
what was he doing differently in the way
he made decisions how was he evaluating
things
a lot of what this program teaches i did
with him personally and i began to turn
him around
and most importantly given the link
massive pleasure to trading
along with making sure he was using the
right principles you can get all pumped
up and excited and link pleasure and do
the wrong thing
so by combination those aspects within
less than 12 months of coaching him and
i did this seeing him once a month
and then talking to him about once a
week on the phone and daily through
faxes
he made more than a hundred million
dollars turn things completely around
and develop momentum again so i just
want you to get this is really important
for you if you’re in business
as well as important for you and your
personal life and also doesn’t matter
how tough things are
you know i dealt with a woman couple
years ago who had 152 personalities and
she started splitting in the middle of
my seminar
and in 45 minutes i was able to help her
to integrate herself and the way i did
that was by understanding the
relationship of these six human needs
as well as the principle of pain and
pleasure so i want you know when you
master this area of your life
you can change virtually anything and
you’ve gotta master around the area of
learning
because if you think about it as we move
in the 21st century now
things are changing so rapidly the one
skill you gotta have
is the ability to learn rapidly and you
know what we’re in school we link
massive pain
learning most of us and so kids boy you
can turn them around so easily when you
entertain them a little bit
you’re not trying to make this little
tape program somewhat entertaining i
just got my voice to try and do it and
tease you and push you but
hopefully you can feel the difference
and you will over the next few days as
we go through each day
day after day building momentum but i
can tell you one of the reasons we now
do our programs in movie theaters all
across the country where i do a seminar
and we satellite it all over the nation
is we use that big screen and we use
entertainment we call it e-cubed
we give you the very best education on
earth something you can immediately use
that you can see measurable results from
but we make it entertaining and then 30
is empowering so you follow through so
you’re not learning in a passive mode
most people think oh my god i’m going to
sit in a seminar for eight hours that’s
got to be the most burnout thing
possible we have people that go for
three days and they have the best time
of their life
because i believe the information age is
dead i mean
as we have so much information coming at
us now it’s on internet and it’s on
cd-roms
and we’ve got 500 television channels
and then we got me
here i am again nothing more on you
but you know what the secret is to
realize there’s so much information
the only stuff we pay attention to is
the stuff that moves us emotionally
something that inspires us or makes us
laugh or makes us cry or makes us feel
that’s the stuff we remember and that’s
the stuff we use so
pain and pleasure is shaping every area
of your life and what we want to do in
this tape is really start to take
control of it
so we’re not in reaction to our old
conditioning but we’re in charge of it
and the first step to that is awareness
of this principle
the awareness that this is shaping us
and how it works
so the controlling force of our life
then the thing that directs our life
is what we link pain and what we link
pleasure to think about it advertisers
know all about this don’t they
advertisers know that if we’re going to
get people to take action
to use their power to buy things we got
to get them to associate
pleasurable feelings to our product or
show them how they can eliminate
some pain they already have by buying
our product think about it
isn’t that what they really did in those
old att commercials
at t tried to give you the pleasure and
the pain
what’d they do they didn’t come on with
a commercial and say listen
i know you miss your mother call her no
no no
first they took out a big knife and they
stabbed you in the chest with it right
they came out there and they showed this
poor old lady saying gosh my son hasn’t
called me in forever
i miss him he probably doesn’t even love
me anymore
oh my gosh i’m being left alone so all
the grandmas in the world start to feel
pain because they realize
their son hasn’t called them in at least
15 minutes on the other side right
here is the sons out there in the world
and or daughters who are watching this
going guilt oh gosh
i’ve been busy oh gosh i need a call and
everything else and pretty soon what
happens is
in the same 30 seconds after making you
feel always paying for not calling
they then show you that by calling
you’ll get what pleasure
how does it work in the same 30 or 60
second commercial what happens is
the son picks up the phone and calls mom
and she smiles oh my gosh she
does love me and she smiles and the
music comes on behind it and he’s
smiling and there’s incredible bonding
connection you just feel your heart
opening and
at the end of it they say don’t let your
family drift away
and what’s happened in 60 seconds
they’ve gotten you the link to their
product a way to avoid pain plus they
stirred up some of your pain made you
hurt a little
more so you’re more motivated and
simultaneously showing you how you can
heal it and get pleasure just by picking
up this little device that’s nearby that
they’ll make money if you take action on
now i’m not against it because i think
it’s a great tool
but i want you to realize it’s a pain
pleasure commercial
and then there was citibank visa right
it’s interesting to see what citibank
used to motivate people versus say
american express and what they used
they both had two classic commercials in
the citibank commercial there’s a dark
background
and a man comes on and he’s got a lot of
pain and he says yeah i got the phone
call
it’s four o’clock in the morning my
father was having a heart attack
i had no money and all sudden it comes
on and the citibank lady comes on with a
smile and says you know we heard about
his problem
and she said we wanted to help he called
us he told us what he needed the money
for
we gave him the credit it goes back to
the man
yep because of citibank i was there i
was there at my father’s hospital bed
thanks to citibank people who care
now what’s the implication here well if
you want to solve the pain in your life
just get a citibank visa and they’ll
handle it you need more money hey
just call they’ll handle it they
understand well that’s an interesting
way of looking at things
on the other side you’ve got american
express where you see two achiever type
of people who are obviously quite
successful
and they’ve lost their luggage they’re
really in a painful state they’re kind
of angry and
all of a sudden a man turns to his wife
being the loving man that he is and says
honey
forget about the luggage let’s just go
buy things do you have your american
express card
great and they go on the shopping spree
and they buy everything and they’re in
greece and they’re overlooking the water
and all of a sudden the man turns the
woman and says gosh i wonder where the
luggage is
and she just begins to laugh and says
who cares and on the stage comes
the american express card so what do you
do you associate god if you got an
american express card you’re going to go
to greece your husband’s going to buy
you things you’re going to be an
incredible place
the bottom line is it works it
absolutely works advertisers in this
country spend
billions of dollars because they
understand that in 60 seconds they can
change our behavior with a little
repetition
just by changing what we link pain to
and what we link pleasure to
that’s it now you remember those pepsi
commercials with michael jackson
here’s a guy that doesn’t even drink
pepsi and yet he was paid 15 million
dollars
for 180 seconds of his time why
because large numbers of people in our
country when they hear michael jackson’s
music feel great
they feel a level of pleasure and all
they have to do is see him or hear his
music and they feel it
in fact they want that pleasure so much
they bought more of his records than
anybody in history
so what happens well a little company
comes along named pepsi and they say
look we want people to feel that way
about pepsi
let’s just do a little conditioning here
let’s get them to associate those
feelings to
our product then they’ll want our
product as much as they want michael
jackson
that’s why they paid him 15 million i
mean how did they do it
well you got to wait till the next tape
to find out how they did it
right now let’s just get really clear
about that yeah that’s right i want to
make sure you tune in tomorrow that’s
right
but meanwhile just get clear pain and
pleasure are the biggest motivators and
of the two
again i must say we will do more to
avoid
pain usually than we ever will to gain
pleasure
i mean think about it which would you
work harder for
to save twenty five thousand dollars
save it up or to keep somebody from
stealing
twenty five thousand dollars from you i
would say usually you’ll do more to
avoid the pain
most people in life in fact don’t
succeed until they have enough pain
i mean think about it some of the
greatest success stories that we could
talk about are people that finally hit
rock bottom where they had so much pain
they couldn’t stand anymore
and that drove them for the pleasure of
success you know there are all kinds of
stories agmandino is a gentleman i
really enjoy his books i don’t know if
you’ve read them but they’re worth
picking up
one is called the greatest salesman in
the world here’s a gentleman who hit
rock bottom
who was an absolute drunk who was living
out on the streets who had no future
who the only way he could stay warm
during the winter was to wander into the
libraries
and as he did he began to pick up some
books and read some books and actually
feed his mind very much like you’ve
committed yourself to do for these 30
days
and the stimulation there began to
change his life and what happened was he
felt that he had so much pain in his
life that that was it that he was no
longer willing to experience that
and in his mind he saw that there was a
way to gain pleasure by developing
himself by growing
eventually went to work for w clement
stone and became the editor-in-chief of
success magazine
we already talked about lee iacocca and
how his pain drove him to success
i mean think about it what are some of
the things you’ve missed out on in your
life
simply because even though you wanted
the pleasure of achieving them or
obtaining them or making those things
happen
your brain also said yeah but it could
lead to pain and that pain
stopped you from falling through using
your power and getting the results
has it happened more than once in your
life you and i both know it has
so how can we use this understanding of
the controlling force how can we use the
understanding that
pain is a greater motivator than even
pleasure well the way to use it is to
begin to understand that in any moment
in time
our reality is based on whatever we
focus on that is at any moment in time
whatever you focus on is what’s most
real to you
for example if you’re looking at piece
of chocolate and you think about eating
the chocolate
and you just let your mind flow based on
its old associations
it might say yumbo it’s time to eat
you might immediately get that pleasure
feeling and as long as you focus on the
pleasure you’re going to get
and that is your primary focus and
that’s what’s most real to you
then you’re going to be drawn towards
the chocolate but haven’t you also had
times where you didn’t eat the chocolate
or you didn’t eat something that
normally you’re kind of addicted to have
there been times when you stopped
yourself
how have you done that the answer is you
changed your focus
and you focused on the pain you probably
would experience
or the pleasure you would get by not
eating the chocolate so what you did is
instead of just thinking intellectually
well yeah not eating the chocolate will
make me thinner
you literally focused on hey i’m going
to be going to this particular ball and
i want to look like a million bucks i
want to feel
strong if i eat that chocolate i’m going
to feel lousy i’m going to feel bloated
i’m going to feel heavy so you begin to
focus on all the pain
plus all the pleasure you’d get by not
eating it and your behavior changed
isn’t that true
if you’ve ever stuck to a diet for
example isn’t it true that the way you
stuck to it is one day you finally got
to the point where you had it
he said look i looked in the mirror one
day or somebody said something to you or
you notice that you’re just feeling
sloppy and tired
and you went through what i call
threshold threshold is when you
experience so much pain you said i’ve
had it
that’s it no more and then you begin to
find a way to change it
well i believe that you can do this with
anything at any moment in time and i
know you can’t all you got to do is
control your mental focus
so if you want to change your behavior
you must focus on
how not doing something is going to be
more painful than just going for it
in other words link not taking action as
being more painful than just doing it
just the way we talked about with
procrastination
do it to yourself up front don’t wait
till life puts you in a pressure
situation where you feel like you have
to do something
does that make sense so how can we use
this in other areas of our life
do the same thing you want to connect
with somebody you want to make sure you
communicate with them
then think about if i don’t do this i
know i feel busy i know i feel
overloaded but if i don’t call them here
on their birthday or on easter how is it
going to make them feel how am i going
to feel
you know that would be painful if i just
made the call and i connect with them
and they feel appreciated how’s that
going to make me feel
pleasurable use pain and pleasure
instead of having pain and pleasure use
you
that’s the secret to success you do that
and you’re in control of your life you
don’t do that
and life controls you and unfortunately
for most people
life controls them so let’s change it
and in the next tape we’re going to talk
about specifically
how to change what we associate pain and
pleasure to
but step number one is just getting
clear that this is the controlling force
of your life
if there’s anything you want to do and
you can’t figure out why you’re not
doing it
there’s a simple answer you link more
pain to doing it than not doing it hey
if you don’t have enough money for
example i know that’s an issue for a lot
of people it was for a good deal of my
life
if you don’t have money there’s only one
reason you link
more pain to having more money than not
having it
now you say okay tony you’ve been okay
up until now now you’ve gone over
threshold i don’t buy that theory
hey i wouldn’t have bought it either but
it’s true i’ve got to tell you something
you’re an intelligent person you have
the ability to produce results you had
enough personal power
to make a phone call put your money in
the line and now you’re falling through
and listening to it you’re in that
top one tenth of one percent literally i
mean
you aren’t just somebody just hanging
out you’re willing to do something about
it
even with all of that your ability to
follow through if you don’t have the
money that you want in your life
it’s not because you’re not smart enough
it’s not because you don’t have the
ability it’s not because there isn’t
money available there’s plenty of money
in the world if you don’t have any
that’s because there’s something inside
of you
that you link pain to having it and the
reason i say that is i don’t care who it
is that i’ve interviewed or
modeled or done a personal consultation
with if they have got a lack of
abundance financially
it’s because of two things number one
they
absolutely in their gut somewhere in
their subconscious mind they
think money is going to mean pain that
if i have money then what’s going to
happen is to get it
oh gosh i’m going to put all this effort
and that will be so
painful after all i’m kind of
comfortable where i am
yeah i’d like more money but yeah you
know i’m kind of feeling pretty good
here
and i know i’m feeling pretty
pleasurable here but god having money
would take some pain so they don’t
follow through or
in order to have money you’ve got to
take advantage of other people
and that person has that belief and you
and i we’re not gonna take advantage of
people in our gut we wouldn’t allow
ourselves to do that that would be
ultimate pain for most of us
so we’re not gonna do that now i know
there’s some people that don’t link pain
to taking advantage of people but most
people i think do in their heart
so you don’t want to do that so that’s
painful or they’ve got linked up well if
you make money
then people are going to judge you all
of a sudden there you’re going to be
ostracized
or maybe somewhere in your mind you
believe oh gosh if i make that much
money and i make it to the top
financially
i’ll be all alone i’ll be lonely at the
top hey that’s a bunch of garbage
it is not lonely at the top it’s true
the bottom is more crowded
but there’s plenty of room at the top
and if you do things in a way that
supports the people around you can take
your friends with you financially the
point
is that if you don’t have the money it’s
because you link pain to it
there’s more pain imagine motivating
your life as being a scale if you would
and on one side is pain and the other is
pleasure and your brain is always
weighing if i take this action
what’s it going to mean more pleasure
and less pain
or more pain and less pleasure if you’re
not
following through it’s because you’ve
got that skill
weighted in the opposite direction as it
needs to be and if you’re going to
change your behavior and use your
personal power
then you’ve got to change what you
associate pain and pleasure to
if you’re sabotaging your success in any
area of your life it’s exactly the same
reason
you’re having what i call approach
avoidance
that is you have a mixed set of
associations about pain and pleasure
as i gave you an earlier example in a
relationship i want to be in a
relationship it will mean pleasure
but then you get into it you start to
notice some things and your brain says
oh it might end it might mean pain
and so you start to make relationships
work and you sabotage them you they do
the same thing financially
i want money because money will mean for
me maybe more freedom or i could give to
my friends or i could buy my kids
something or i could travel the world
or i could learn something new or i
could hire this best coach in the world
to do something for me
and yet at the same time your brain’s
going yeah but then i’ll get judged or
you’ll have to give up all the stuff
i’ll have no time with my family and all
this pain
and so you don’t follow through and you
begin to sabotage financially if you’re
going to change that
once and for all forever you’ve got to
right now decide that you control the
focus of your mind
and that if you’re not following through
all you have to do is focus on what’s
the pain i’m going to have if i don’t do
this
most of us focus on what will be the
pain if i take action
and we keep ourselves from using our
personal power your focus has to be what
will be the pain if i don’t do it
what will be the ultimate price if i
don’t follow through what will it cost
me emotionally spiritually physically
financially
in my life what will happen the juice
and passion of my life if i don’t follow
through
if you start asking those questions
you’ll be able to motivate yourself
and when we get into the goal setting
workshop in this tape program
you’re going to find that i’m going to
show you not only how to set goals and
find out why you’re going for them which
most people don’t know which is why i
don’t follow through they just set up a
goal i want to be rich i want to be
happy i want a better job i want a
better relationship
we’re going to get the reasons that will
drive you but we’re also going to have
you really focus on hey
what’s going to be the cost of you don’t
do it we’re going to use this powerful
force within us
to create lifelong success so i want you
to remember this tape i know i’ve said
some of the same basic ideas over and
over again
repetition is the mother of skill and i
hope you listen to this again
i want you to hammer into yourself if
you will anchor into yourself
that you’re in control and that you have
the ability to change your focus and
therefore
change your behavior instantly by
learning to control
pain and pleasure and what you link them
to
so let me give you an assignment and
then tomorrow we’re going to show you
how to make changes rapidly but let’s
make some changes right now okay
take out your success journal and in
your success journal i want you to write
down
four actions that you need to take in
your life that you’ve been putting off
now i know you made some decisions a day
or so ago but i want you to look at four
more things what are four actions that
you need to take maybe you need to lose
some weight
maybe you need to stop smoking maybe
what you do is you need to make a phone
call you haven’t followed through on
maybe it’s initiating a new job
interview for you
maybe what it is is communicating to
somebody that you really really are
attracted or maybe it’s
you’re in a relationship with somebody
and you haven’t communicated how much
you really love them in a long time real
directly you kind of taken it for
granted i don’t know what it is
but i want you right now to write down
what are four actions that you could
take immediately that you’ve been
putting off you know you should take
but you haven’t done it again make these
four
different than the ones you already did
yesterday don’t go oh i did two of them
yesterday that means i’ll have to do two
more days
remember i said each day we’re gonna do
a little more we’re gonna increase the
weights
we’re gonna develop more muscle more
will more power that’s what we’re doing
right now
so you’re gonna write down four new
actions right four simple actions that
you’re gonna take
and then what i want you to do is i want
you to be honest with yourself
i want you to write down under each
action that you’ve not taken that you
know you should
i want you to write down what is the
pain
that you associate that’s kept you from
taking action in the past let’s just get
clear
because i guarantee you that if you’ve
not taken actions because you associated
more pain to taking action than not
okay you’ve heard that about 19 times
but you’re gonna hear it again and again
until you start to use it
you know i once heard a story about this
great minister and
people came to his church and they
listened to him you know give this great
sermon
and it was a phenomenal sermon and then
they came back the next week and he got
up and gave the same
sermon and the third week it was the
same sermon and after about
five sermons in a row of the exact same
sermon a couple of the elders in the
church decided to pull the minister
aside and
see if he was okay and they said sir um
i don’t know quite how to communicate
this to you but
are you aware that some of what you’ve
been saying has been
pretty much identical as to what you
said the last week and the week before
and the week before
and the minister just smiled very calmly
said oh i’m glad you noticed
i said well why are you doing that he
said i’m going to keep doing this sermon
until you guys start applying it
if i sound like i’m given a sermon that
sounds like the same one it is we’re
going to make sure you apply it and make
sure you embed
it so one write down the four actions
two
make sure you write down what is the
pain that you’ve associated with doing
this in the past and just be honest with
yourself and if you say tony
i have no pain associated to it well
then
think a little stronger maybe the pain
is simple maybe it’s like well
the pain of taking the time it’d be more
painful to take the time to do it than
other things you’re really more caught
up in and that you think will give you
more pleasure
but write it down third step i want you
to write down
all the pleasure you’ve gotten by not
falling through
because sometimes by not falling through
it’s giving you pleasure too you go well
i don’t understand
well let’s say for example you think you
should lose some weight
and that specifically in order to get
that done one of the actions you should
take
is to stop eating mass quantities of
chocolate or sugar
or cake or whatever it is okay now
why haven’t you done that well answer
number one because you associate pain
to dieting in fact what are the first
three letters in the word diet
that ought to give you a clue why most
people want to avoid it they feel like
they’re dying
the bottom line is that’s kind of
painful so what have you done you’ve
associated
taking something away loss equals pain
for most of us if we feel like we’re
losing something or giving something up
we feel like like losing weight it’s
going to be painful
so you go well gosh i would be taking
something away i would be taking away
things i used to have pleasure eating
so that’s pain what are all the pains
you would associate step three
what’s the pleasure you get by still
eating well you get the pleasure of
eating chocolate you get that momentary
feeling inside
so that’s step number three step number
four
i want you to write down the opposite
what do i mean by that
what i mean is i want you to write down
what it will cost you
if you don’t change that is if you don’t
stop eating chocolate in mass quantities
if you don’t stop smoking
if you don’t make that phone call that
you know you need to make if you don’t
start
consistently working out each day if you
don’t go out and really make an
effort even though it may be difficult
to get through to that person who in the
past is making mad
if you don’t do that what’s it going to
cost you and be honest with yourself
what will it cost you over the next two
three
four or five years what’s it going to
cost you emotionally
what’s going to cost you on your
self-image will it cost you in your
physical energy level
what will it cost you in your feelings
of self-esteem what will it cost you
financially
what will it cost you in your direct
relationships with the people you care
about
most and i really want you to hone it
down and how does that make you feel in
other words don’t just go well it’ll
cost me money
well i will be fat that’s not enough you
gotta remember what drives us are our
emotions not our just our intellect
so get emotional about what will it cost
you and how would that make you feel to
not get those results in your life over
the next two three four
five years and here’s the final key take
the final step and that is under each of
these four actions write down what will
you gain by taking this action right now
what are all the things you’ll gain and
make a huge list that will really drive
you emotionally
hey i’ll gain the feelings of being in
control of my life i’ll gain the
feelings of knowing that i’m in charge
i’ll gain a level of self-confidence
i’ll gain physical energy and health
i’ll gain stronger relationships i’ll
develop more willpower that i can use in
every other area of my life
i’ll gain i’ll gain i’ll gain all gain
my life will be better in all these ways
now and over the next two three four
five years by taking this action
in other words look at the impact of
these things present
and long term so let me leave you with
this for today
there are two things that control our
lives the carrot
and the stick the stick is pain and the
carrot is pleasure
use the two of them to point yourself
because if you don’t there are plenty of
other people in this world
who are paid large sums of money to
direct you
advertisers do it do it to yourself
learn to advertise in your own mind
and take control now do your exercise
right now again don’t put it off
go through these five steps right now
don’t wait don’t put it off do it
immediately don’t say i’m gonna do it
later in the day please do it right now
and i’ll see you tomorrow have a great
day and live with passion
[Music]
you